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Jackass # 567 – Guys who wear Tank Tops
Does anything say “jackass” louder than a tank top? Unless you are at the gym, or engaged in some other sport, wearing a tank top in public is a far greater faux pas than wearing shorts before Memorial Day or after Labor Day any time of year. The only exception would be if your name…
Hang up or order you Jackass!
Tell you me you haven’t seen this Jackass floating around town. This is the guy whose cell phone call is so important that he can’t hang up for the minute it takes to _______ (fill in blank). order coffee order food pay for gas pay for groceries etc. etc. Irrespective of the specifics, what this…
The Guy who invented the “whisper-quiet” bathroom ceiling fan!
Everyone knows those bathroom ceiling fans served a dual purpose. The first was obvious – get rid of the stink in the event of a number 2. The second not so obvious reason – and far more important in my opinion – is for the fan to make enough noise to mask whatever involuntary noises may…
Jackass #25 – Yay-hoos who close their phone messages with a cliche.
When I want to leave a message all I really want to know is did I reach the right number/person. Everything else, is extraneous. I also don’t require directions. I pretty much have the whole message-leaving business under control. Leave it to the jackasses, however, to mess up this simple task. What began innocently enough,…
Jackass Number 5 – Parents who tell you about their genius kids!
It’s not the parent’s fault if their child is a genius (actually, genetically speaking, it is!). But really do you need to tell us about it…over and over? Let me help you out Jackass. No, you don’t. Honestly, we really don’t care about your child’s test scores. This is because (in case you haven’t noticed) in the…
Jackass #17 – People who forward emails (bonus round!).
One final thing on forwarded emails. Microsoft isn’t sending you any money for forwarding. There is no one in Africa who is sending you 30 million USD if you open an account for him to put it in. You aren’t getting luckier by sending a bunch of emails to people you know. Andy Kaufman isn’t…