Jackass Number 3 – “This weekend, I am going to run a tri-ath-a-lon!”

You know the triathlon was created as a barroom bet don’t you?

“Who is the best athlete, someone who swims a mile, bikes a hundred miles, or runs a marathon?”
‘Well, the best athlete athlete is someone who does all three, back-to-back!

Hence the dumbest and most egotistical sport, ever, was created.

Before long, people were training dozens of hours every week for a “sport” without any public competitions, prize money or the chance for any real notoriety. Triathletes were that weird breed, people who just loved to exercise like mad.

Then came the Ironman competition, cross-training shoes, and “The Ironman” watch.  Triathalon became and an Olympic sport.

Soon, the weekend warriors were doing it at new “amateur length” triathlons. These mini-triathlons were a far cry from the original barroom bet distances. These hardly challenging events opened the floodgates for the oxymoronic out-of-shape triathlete.

Even worse, these floodgates opened the door for total jackasses to swim, bike or run into.

And, what makes these people jackasses?

The fact that they can’t correctly pronounce the name of the sport they compete in.


“I’d love to stay for dinner, but I am training for a tri-ath-a-lon!”

Four syllables.

Jackass, it’s triathlon.

Three syllables.

And, hey, midlife crisis, if you are going to compete in this silly sport, bore all your friends with the details of how much you train, how tired and hungry you are, then at the very least, learn how to pronounce it correctly!

Maybe go tell your REAL – A – TOR.




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